Many people hear the term ‘spiritual awakening’ and have visions of lightening flashing, angels appearing, and hearing the voice of God.
That can all be part of it. But it’s usually not how it starts.
An awakening starts with some ‘breakdown’ or realization that signals that it’s time to get back to you, your true self. The breakdown forces you to go within and question. It’s not about teaching you a life lesson, or punishing you; it’s about leading you to live into your highest potential.
And here’s the truth: we experience awakenings on a regular basis; only some are more life-altering than others.
My Awakening
My awakening was a total course correct of my entrepreneurial path; at least that’s what it looked like from the outside. It was the Universe putting me on the path to playing “full out and fully expressed.”
It started in 2014 and lasted for an entire year, with a series of crazy events, ending with the death of my father in October 2015. It’s no coincidence that he was in the last stages of Alzheimer’s Disease, and I was dealing with that inner turmoil as well.
Up until that point, my life was all about the work, trading dollars for hours. I felt successful, delivering tangibles to my clients in exchange for money. It was about the money. Partly as an escape from the realities that were going on around me.
I was working in my “Zone of Excellence” but not from my “Zone of Purpose.” I felt the tug that there was something more, but I was so caught up in my responsibility to others that I ignored what was best for me.
I had a vision to leverage my worth but I couldn’t let go of the safety that the “doing” provided.
I was playing small.
I didn’t even think about generating a 6-figure income, or getting to my next level, because I was so comfortable where I was.
The moment that my vision started to really call me out to play a bigger game, was the moment that my reality came crashing down. I had to face what I was willing to tolerate. The money went away, and my purpose practically slapped me in the face.
But it took a while for me to see it.
My Learning
When I reflect back, those were the most meaningful times of my journey as an entrepreneur, and maybe even life. My awakening forced me to see that I am enough. I was hiding behind my work. The design and publishing that I delivered to my clients was tangible. They got something from me that was outside of me.
I was good at it, but I had to move inward and onward to experience my own transformation, so that I could use my experiences to transform others, which was my heart’s longing.
In Human Design, I am a 6/3 profile: a role model-martyr who learns from experience to show others what works and what doesn’t – ‘the spiritual teacher creating innovative systems and new paths for others’. How perfect is that?
My awakening was a part of my human experience. I had to explore that suffering so that I could truly understand my clients’ pain and their own journey to show them a better path.
And Then Came the Lack…
Lack is a huge issue in entrepreneurship. I don’t remember feeling ‘in lack’ a day in my life, until my awakening. And being in lack taught me to appreciate the abundance in the small things, and to be grateful for every experience.
I now can feel my clients’ pain when they are struggling to make their business work, to be on the path of playing full out and fully expressed, and making a difference in the world.
I’ve got the strategies. That’s in my Human Design, too. I’ve got all the energies of business and part of my purpose is to “marry with others to create wealth.”
I can do that, but first, I have to understand what it’s like to be in that place of self doubt, in fear of playing a bigger game, the experience of having self sabotage knock at your door, and then opening the door to welcome it in, only to finally kick it to the curb.
We’ve got to get those things out of the way first, because it’s easier to stay safe, whether you’re in a good place or a place that’s not so good.
Welcome the Awakening
An awakening will have you question. It will force you to face every fear imaginable. And then you’ll spend time overcoming those fears, when you could be growing your business.
But how can you be fully expressed and abundant, when all this stuff is getting in the way?
That’s the real work. Business is only an outlet for us to express our true gifts in a way that serves others. Your level of success is a reflection of what’s going on within.
In my awakening, I heard the voice of God: “Carol Ann, you’re going to get everything you want.” I sat up, startled. It continued: “You just have to help more people.”
Oh, so that’s the answer….it’s so obvious, yet not so easy. How many people? Who are these people?
The answer reveals itself…slowly…not in a quantum leap, but in a way that is right for who I am. I’m not quite where I want to be. But I know I’m on the right path, and this is where I need to be now.
After all, life is a journey and we never quite get to our destiny, do we?
It’s so much easier when we experience an awakening as flashes of insight that move us along into the light, than it is to have that big bolt of lightening interrupt our path.
An awakening is inevitable. But when we come to expect it, we recognize the signs and synchronicities that are pointing us in the direction to our higher path.
Awareness is a beautiful thing. And an awakening can be, too, if we let it be.